Hyperion – January 5, 2010
Daelyn has suffered major psychological damage from years of being bullied. The torment and embarrassment she received because of her weight started her downhill slide into despair. Daelyn has lost her desire to live and failed at several attempts to end her life. Her latest failure has left her unable to talk and on 24-hour suicide watch. Her parents barely trust her to go to school.
Daelyn is biding her time. She only has 23 days until her Date of Determination. She discovers the Through the Light website on accident, but finds it to be a welcome change of pace to the other suicide websites and discussion boards she’s visited in the past. Instead of preaching and warning her against her decision, the website provides rational and informational posts and discussions about ending her life.
BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, I’LL BE DEAD is a powerful and heart-wrenching story of one girl’s life as she makes the hardest decisions of her life. How will she end her life and what will she do with her last 23 days? Daelyn thinks she has it all figured out until she meets a strange boy while she waits for her parents to pick her up after school. Santana is persistent when it comes to making friends with Daelyn, but with only 23 days to live does she really have time?
BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, I’LL BE DEAD is a short book at only 198 pages. It is easily a one-sitting read and well worth the time. The author, Julie Anne Peters includes a lot of factual information at the back of the book. There are 19 Discussion Questions as well as sections about Bullying, Suicide, Warning Signs, and Prevention Hot Line Information. Your heart will break for Daelyn and the ending is thought-provoking.
I’m really looking forward to reading this. It was talked up at ALA and I just haven’t had a chance to read my ARC yet. Your review makes me want to up it in my TBR pile.
This sounds like a really intense book. I think I’ll definitely have to check it out.
the website is not real in any matter
completatly made up for the book
Don’t read the book as you will only be disapointed with the ending. I felt the ending leaves you frustrated and annoyed that you never know her choices or how her life turns out which road she chooses it leaves you thinking about how there should be more to the book like someone has stolen the last few chapters but no the author leaves you with nothing but frustration about how you never know the ending.
i agree with ella ! it just leaves you to guess ><
I just finished this book today, and I was extremely mad and dissapointed at the end. I’m guessing that the author wanted you to think about the choice YOU think she made in the end, but simply put, it’s not fair to the readers. We want to know which path she took. What happened to Emily? Did she actually go to dinner with Santana? In the book there were so many questions asked to her. Some she could answer throughly, others she had no answer to. She didn’t like not having her answers, so why should the readers have to go through that same thing, only this is the more important question. This is why I read the book. To see what choice she would make in the end. To see if anything in the world could change her mind about life so quickly. To see if anything could mean so much to her, to make her change her mind, and to see what that thing would be. But no, we were left to make our own assumptions. This is not the kind of book where you leave your readers hanging. Mystery novels, I will agree with. But, a book about a girl about to commit suicide… Is not the book to be doing it with. There was no lesson on this book… No morals… Just questions. It was well written, but i was highly upset by the ending.
dahumn! i was so mad at the ending, too. you know how that santana kid had that wierd religion where he belived god was somehow connected to everything, like that magnolia tree or whatever and that magnolia chick in her book, well i think maybe she did kill herself, and then her bf well santana died and they ended up together, that’s what god wanted all along. he made her life bad, so she would wanna off herself, and he was dying and all they had was eachother to depend on, so in the end, god led them to eachother, that was his plan all along. i think they should make a movie and a second book, and in the movie megan fox should play taylor or whatever. ya?
I think it’s obvious what happens to Daelyn. The ways she’s talking, she is not going to physically kill herself anymore. She’s just perishing everything from her past so that she can move on and become the person she wants to be. And she’s definately going to get together with Santana. It just sucks that you don’t know if Santana lives or not.
i agree with sam and ella was completely upset abt the ending
I agree with Angela. She doesn’t kill herself and definitely ends up with Santana.
Ahh! I agree with everybody who said that the ending leaves you hanging. I just finished the book like a few minutes ago and I was so pissed that I didn’t know if she lived or not. And if Santana lived or not too. But I guess, it’s just meant to kinda stimulate your thinking. I do agree with the idea that she instead decided to move on. It kinda gives you hints in the end, especially when she’s thinking about Santana and his birthday dinner. Amazing book, but well, it could have had a better ending
To true although I enjoyed the book I felt like I walked through a desert with this girl and once we finally got to a water bottle we couldn’t get the cap off !!!
i loved the book. i myself hav been struugling with suicide and i dnt no why this book helped.the only thing i didnt like was the end.i was really hoping to know if she was gonna go through with it but i hav a feeling she ddnt cus almost at the end wen she was in the bathroom with those two girls daelyn stood up for herself for the first time i think tht was a hint tht she wasnt gonna do suicide
its says in the book that once you delete the account theres no going back….so maybe when she deleted the account she chose to stay alive??
First of all, that’s really my name. I didn’t like the book THAT much. But, yeah, Daelyn definitely didn’t kill herself. Because 1)she deleted her account, and 2) the whole dog thing was like a sign of hope because the first time she saw it, the Master Guy was jerking the dog around. 3) The bathroom scene 4) She put
the Mini Me in her bag to take to Santana, but when she planned to kill herself, she was leaving school after first period. Why would she take the laptop if she
didn’t plan on staying and seeing him after school. 5) She mentions that her room has nothing to show the Daelyn she’ll become, as in she’ll be alive to become a different person. and 5) The last sentence. The entire reason she wanted to kill herself was because she thought there was nothing for her in life. no reason to live. With purpose and Determination, she walked into the light. She had her will to live back.
At first, I was completely pissed that the book ended that way, but when I was sure she survived, I got over it. I’d rather just choose to believe that Santana made it through his illness and they got together at the end.
I really loved the book. I wasn’t mad at the ending because it was obvious what happened. If you had payed close attention to the pace and Daelyn’s thoughts throughout the story. As she purged herself of her secrets, the mood of the book changed dramatically and you could easily feel the emotional roller coaster that the author wanted us to feel. In the beginning of the book she was just plain outright pessimistic (for lack of better word). But near the middle, when she was addressing the Fat Camp issues, you could feel the mood start to become tougher and tougher to understand just what it was like, but we all can imagine it, for it was as she said. But what really suprised me though was the mood became lighter near the end, even while she was preparing. It showed she was beginning to uncover herself more and more. She found her self-confidence again, and was able to live life like a… normal person.
AND SERIOUSLY, THIS IS AN ANTI-SUICIDE BOOK, IF ALL THIS WAS IN THEIR, WHY WOULD SHE COMMIT SUICIDE???
Srry 4 Dblpost.
CORRECTION ‘There’
Also, wanted to add, TO JANELLE, there was only one girl in the bathroom that she stood up to in the final few chapters.
WOOOOOOT!!!! GREAT BOOK!!! 9.9 out of ten!!! (because of the ending)
is there a sequel
No.
This was an amazing book, and I wish there was a sequel!! In the end, it’s pretty obvious she will live, become a better person, and possibly get together with Santana because he’s the reason why she’s still alive. When I read, I get sort of sucked into the book and I can say that just from that brief time with Santana I love him. I would rate this novel a 10!!!
I would like to think that she decided not to kill herself in the end.The hints left in the last chapter could insinuate either outcome but in the chapter before when daelyn is crying with santanaI feel like she gets a sense of hope and awaking and maybe feels like she has something to live for.I imediently fell in love with santana from the first moment he was decsribed.I believe that he beats his cancer eventually.This book was sheer perfection!
I absolutely hated the ending. When I finish a book, I really like to have some closure rather then having it seem like the last chapter of the book had been ripped out. It was incredibly frustrating, and I feel Santana basically got nowhere and served no point in the book. At the end she didn’t get with him, she didn’t actually reject him, we don’t know if he lives. He was just thrown in. I wish I could have known what would have happened, and developed further into their relationship. Reading the book was a complete waste of time for me personally.
umm.. I really loved the book.. I couldn’t afford it so I went to the book store every day for a week to finish it.. but finally today I had the money so I bought it.. and finished it moments ago.. at first the end confused me… and I wasn’t sure if she killed herself.. the end was such a let down.. when I turned to the last page I was thinking ” aww shit”.. we never get to know how the date went >__>…. but over all I liked it.
I personally think the ending was meant for you to think of for yourself. I didnt LOVE the ending because I want to know what happens but if you think about it you could find your own ending. If you were her and you met someone like Santana, what would you choose?
If you like thinking of your own ending this is defenatly a book for you. If you like to read between the lines and find evidence to support your answer, this is for you. A great choice for a book club or discussion group!!
I’ve just finished reading the book, and at first, I was very frustrated with the ending. I am the eternal optimist, so I began reading in hopes that something would change Daelyn’s mind. However, I’m also the type of person that doesn’t mind a sad ending, as long as it has closure. Imagine my feelings when I finished. Reading through these comments has sort of sparked something, though. Ponder this, if you will: The ending to By the Time You Read This, I’ll Be Dead leaves us with no conclusion. I believe that it is up to us to make our own conclusions. We have to choose how the story ends, just like Daelyn has to choose how her story ends. Is it going to be on the Day of Determination? Or will it be somewhere far in the future, an old woman with children and grandchildren? I think it’s up to you to decide, just like it’s up to Daelyn. Thanks for your time.
well i was wondering how she died. this book had me realize tht a lot of people who gets bullied alway wants to do something about theirself and some just want to kill themself…its very sad how people can make them want to die and when i saw this book it looked really good and can teach a lot of people. i have told my best friend about this book and she wanted to read it and now she wont bullied anyone any pmore cause of the book so i think if everyone read this book they’ll stop bullying a lot of….ive been bullied since 2nd grade and still all because i was a new girl who got held back and its not fun. i always wanted to stay home and i couldnt tell who were my real friends and still cant….and i still want to know why people are so rude and mean to others when theres no reason…
hello my name is alicia and I’m from Panama… I just finished the book. I think it was good. She didn’t commit suicide, thats obvious.. but I really want to know what happened to Santana…
I think she became stronger,she found hope in Santana and Emily.. and in the end, she was sad and anxious because she didn’t wanna die after all, because she found reasons to live and that confused her.. those feelings, feelings she didn’t know she had. She couldn’t believe it, that’s why she cried the day before the termination…Great Book!!
I loved the book, I didnt really like Santana, he kinda annoyed me. I think Daelyn’s parents are trying to be her friend, not a parent. Overall the book was good. But the end confused me. It made me go through every site I typed “did Daelyn Rice kill her self or not”? I was a bit obessed with the answer. I know the author wants us to figure it out ourselves, but I still dont know if she acutally commit sucide or not. Part of me says no, because maybe Daelyn went to Santana’s for dinner, fell in love, and made friends with Emily. Other part of me says yes because she just made up her chocie, that she just wants to be gone. The question Alice asked “what happned to Santana”? I wanted to know that too, did he die later on? Did he ever get a dog before he passed?
the book is call BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS I’LL BE DEAD so obviously you are going to assume she will die before you even start reading the book.
Okay, I just finished this about 5 minutes ago… I’m kinda upset. This book is absolutely AMAZZZING! Yet, the ending is… well not an ending. I’m going to guess it’s our choice to decide that when she goes through the lilght, if it means she went through to her life to Santana’s party and friends with Emily, or through the life as in she really did drown herself. I didn’t get the cover until the ending. She’s in a bathtub, like how she wanted to die. Erg, amazing yet a let down book /:
I think at the ending she did kill herself. I guess there is always a possiblitiy that she didn’t but she kept on saying how strong emily was and how she wished she was that strong. Antoher part that led me to believe that she killed herself was that she gave away her neck brace, and at the end she said it was her time to go into the light. I guess she could have meant that she find found the strength to find herself again, but I think she did kill herself in the end. Also I was upset at the ending at first, but I think I like it now.
WWWWHHHHAATTT!!!!! im sitting here reading EVERYONES sayin about the book and i aint even done yett UUGGHH!!! it makes me mad now i dont even wanna finish the book!
i kinda like the ending. actually it gave hints about if she continued to live and did she end up with the guy
DD
I actually enjoyed this book. I picked it up because a friend of mine brought a stack of books over and this just happened to be the first I read. I oddly enough liked the ending because it allowed me to choose what she does. I am one that doesn’t really care for happy endings but in this book I wasn’t sure there really was a not so happy ending or at least it didn’t seem to fit. If she were to have gone ahead and committed suicide she would have had the eternity of no longer being bullied and serenity. If she had chosen to stay I imagine that she would still be bullied but she would have Emily and Santana. I enjoyed the character of Santana (just putting that out there) and I found Emily’s character to be a mirror of Daelyn but more optimistic in a way. Had she committed suicide I imagine that her parents would have been upset, Santana would have died and Emily would’ve became suicidal or really mean and rough. I also imagine that if she stays then almost everything has a happy ending. Except of course I would wish Taylor to get squished by a rock but survive so that she could live in pain and have scars and get the same treatment as Daelyn did (karma) and there is where the unhappy ending to me is which makes me happpy.
i just finished reading this book.. and absolutely loved it. contrary to many of u, i loved the ending, because i was smiling through the last chapter.. like i was certain she wouldn’t kill herself and was going to agree to the birthday dinner with Santana.
I think she did not kill her self because in page 179 when Santana kissed her she said I’m trapped and it’s….. Black. Blinding white light. So Sanatana might be the light. At the end of the the book she said With determination and purpose, I head into the light. So she did not died maybe her suide part of her died but not her self, she did start feeling and caring for Santana. I think she did not kill her self and whent to Santana’s birthday dinner.
I just finished this book. The ending is really pissing me off. I feel like I didn’t get my money’s worth, like the book was missing it’s end, you know? And the book made me super depressed. Too much like me, I guess. I don’t recommend.
I thought the book left you hanging too but the truth is it says she walked out her door , into the light . so the light she walked into was not the end of her life, but a new life, a new start. Greta book i would recomend it to anyone and the website through-the-light is a discussion website about the book, suicide, and bullying.
OMG! This was an awesome book. I am just really dissapointed with the ending. I wanna know what happened between Daelyn and Santana. I
The ending really did frustrate me too. But I have to agree on Angela on this one. Because in the end she talks like she feels hope. And it doesn’t sound like she’s still depressed and wanting to kill herself. But that she wanted to get rid of the last Daelyn and start new. I was pretty mad with the endong at first, but once you kind of think it over and breathe a little. You understand the meaning of it and it’s really nice. I like how she ended it like that. But dang, this book was pretty amazing.
I think the author Is really skinny. No Obese person is hated THAT much for being fat. As for if she actually died I think the answer is right in the title. For the people who think she didn’t die because she seemed happy the Day of determination, I think she was happy because she was finally escaping this world she hated so much however. Who knows there are so many facts that support both sides.
Okay, some people do get hated that much for being fat. I’ve seen it. The ending is what made the book amazing. It’s a philosophical thinking type book. I loved it. And I love thinking about how her life turned out. Overall great book <3
Honestly, I really really really really enjoyed this book. But I was also disappointed at the ending even though it was pretty obvious that Daelyn ended up with Santana. Although, I did want to see if Santana got over the cancer thing. They probably did end up together at the end which I found really sweet. I was still mad that the author didn’t put more detail into how Daelyn’s life changed for the better exactly. And I really wanted for there to be a sequel.
I wasn’t mad at the ending , but really , i didnt understand it , Like really ? I just keep wondering what is she going to do and stuff and it didn;t even say anything overall it was good , I love Santana i love his personality .
I honestly think the title explains it all.
Don’t you people think that the answer to your question (did she die or not) is in the title of this book, i.e. if you have read the book, it means that the heroine is dead?!
I started and finished this book today, it was great! However, the ending, like most people said was too vague. I wish there was a sequel to it but there isn’t. It’s the type of book that ends with so many questions in your head that are left unanswered.. when I finished I was convinced that she ended up killing herself, but then reading Santana’s comment it made me re-read and re-think the whole ending. Her taking the laptop with her was a sign of her deciding to meet up with Santana and NOT killing herself. Plus, she also said that his invitation lingers at the end. Otherwise I think the author decided to leave the ending to be all mysterious so basically us, the readers, could make up our own ending. And since I’m a fan of happy endings, I’d like to believe that she met with Santana and everything worked out..